‘For the first time, I had to let other people serve me. It was really hard’
Faye’s story | Self-reliant no more
“I’ve always been organised. By the time I was 12, my mother was working shift work, so I was sorting the family pantry and making meal plans. Then I organised a family holiday across Australia. Then I held my first banquet. It’s been my whole life – events, parties, hospitality, organising people. But I can also slip into self-reliance and pride. I can become headstrong and opinionated. So God has been working on me, slowly.
“In my mid 30s, I got really sick after we had our second child, and I couldn’t move my hands or my feet. I was sleeping 18 hours a day. All my roles were stripped away … and for the first time, I had to let other people serve me. It was really, really hard. I had always done the looking after and the organising. But God was showing me my true identity – that I was his, rather than defined by what I did.
“Since then, my organising has continued, but it’s hopefully being done from a different place. As well as that, for the last five years or so, God has kept me out of my comfort zone, work-wise. That’s been good for me! It’s forced me to rely on him rather than my own resources. Last year, for example, I was on a plane, and I knew I’d bitten off more than I could chew, so I started to pray, “Lord, I’ve got no idea how this is going to work out…” And then I opened my Bible and I read Psalm 139, “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” (v 5-6).
“That’s what I need to keep remembering and relying on. I don’t always know what I’m doing and I don’t need to know, because God does. I’m not comfortable, but I don’t want to be. It’s much better for my faith.”