A review of My Brother’s Shadows by Hayley Reynolds. Published in Australia by Acorn Press.

Wayne Reynolds was an active, cheeky 16-year-old when he suddenly noticed an unusual rash. A visit to the doctor and a blood test began a rollercoaster journey as leukaemia was diagnosed. Within ten days he had contracted an extremely rare fungal condition that spread to his brain.

His sister Hayley was about to embark on a wonderful overseas adventure, including a European tour, as well as the opportunity to work at the prestigious MIT in the US. She reluctantly set out on that trip, but then had to fly home after just a month when Wayne became gravely ill.

She documents Wayne’s faith in the face of significant illness in this extremely honest book. It is a story told with tenderness and beauty. It is also a rare insight into the relationship and grief of siblings.

Hayley uses diary notes from Wayne and her own journal to capture emotions at critical moments, as well as text exchanges with her brother. At the core is her questioning of her own faith, and her marveling at her brother’s faith.

It’s hard living in a state of limbo. Not knowing what’s going to happen with Wayne – if he’ll make it or not – whether to begin to process and feel the emotions that will have to be dealt with if he dies. Or whether to continue trusting in the hope I believe God has placed in my heart confirming that Wayne is going to get better… Every so often I think about how Wayne was before he got sick. He’s so beautiful, with such a great heart for God and for people.

Such diary entries sum up the paradox at the heart of this story. Hayley knows that God can heal Wayne if he wants to, but cannot understand why God would not want to. It is the faith-stretching question faced by anyone who has faced cancer (or disability or hard times), as well as their families.

As the mother of a child who went through leukaemia, this book was a difficult read, but not emotionally manipulative or too distressing. Hayley includes the light as well as the shadows of the story. She documents the heart-warming support and messages of their church and friends, as well as the generosity of the local community, especially Wayne’s school.

While most books would finish with the conclusion of Wayne’s illness, Hayley goes further, exploring questions of healing and faith. She offers careful wisdom and grace. She outlines what was unhelpful:

• People questioning her faith that Wayne would be healed, as if it depended on her
• People telling her that everything would work out for good
• Her own habit of flicking through the Bible to grab verses out of context that would give hope
• The temptation to stray away from conventional medicine as a sign of faith
• The need for humility in prayer, not to claim something from God.

As a result of this careful searching of herself, reading the Bible and her research, Hayley discovered something wonderful:

Initially I thought my faith would be shattered if Wayne died, however now I think God actually saved it. The experience acted like an enormous blowtorch. Almost everything fell away and what was left shining in the rubble was Jesus… Without him and the incredible hope he gives, my faith would have been completely demolished.

Hayley now works in research at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre, Melbourne, using advanced imaging to improve radiotherapy treatment for prostate cancer patients. She also has a keen interest in applied theology.

This is a well-written and very helpful book. It might be too raw for those struggling with cancer, but it would be great for those seeking to support them, as an insight into the pain and confusion and faith questions that emerge.

KARA MARTIN is the Associate Dean of the Marketplace Institute, Ridley Melbourne, has been a lecturer with School of Christian Studies, and Wesley Institute and is an avid reader and book group attendee. Kara does book reviews for Hope 103.2’s Open House.