Wednesday 13th August 2014

It seems almost too obvious to say: it’s a challenging time to be a parent of a teenager. Recently, a large internet security company conducted a study into what they term “digital deception”. They found of those youth between 10 and 23 years old who were surveyed, 76 per cent admitted to hiding online behaviour from their parents, while 22 per cent admitted they’d viewed something online away from home so their parents wouldn’t know about it.

They’re troubling statistics if you’re a parent. How should you even begin to control or monitor your child’s use of technology, especially if they have a smartphone or a tablet?

For Christian parents, there’s the added concern for your child’s spiritual welfare, whether you’re doing all you can to point them to Christ and how to help them develop Christian values in an increasingly secular society.

It’s why Mustard, a Melbourne-based ministry which works with teenagers in schools, is holding a series of roundtables called “These days: understanding the current world of teenagers”.

Claire Madden, Research Director with McCrindle Research is presenting at each of the three roundtables on the characteristics of Gen Z,  born between 1995 and 2009, and how parents and churches can best engage with them.

“We call Gen Z ‘digital integrators’,” says Claire, “because technology is integrated into every aspect of their life, whether functional or not.”

Understandably, says Claire, many parents respond to their teenager’s technology use with anxiety and attempt at control. But she says the best thing parents can do is to be open to learning.

“Don’t be too quick to criticise or shut down or judge the technologies they’re using, but have an open approach to learning. Taking a genuine interest in their world is key and building authentic, real relationships with your child.”

She says it’s tempting for parents to become overwhelmed and feel powerless, but parents need to realise that while the world may have changed, “young people still need that guidance and wisdom that parents are there to instil.” In other words, don’t give up.

“It’s going to be very difficult to physically or technically put barriers in place, but teaching the child values about how to use technology and what’s appropriate and what’s not, so that they take ownership of their own usage is very helpful.”

Teaching kids values is an important step in creating digitally aware teenagers who will know how to approach technology with caution and wisdom “so that the children themselves have the discernment to choose what they engage with and how they engage with it,” says Claire.

Although technology poses great challenges, it also presents opportunities for churches to engage with teenagers more effectively than ever before. Say, for example, Sam joined your church’s youth group and came along for a year, but then changed friendship groups, or moved house, or got busy with study and stopped coming. While she might have left the building, she will probably still be connected to people from youth group on social media.

“It’s likely at some point many of those young people will re-engage,” says Claire, “and if the relationship has been sustained through social media it’s more likely they’ll walk back through the doors of the church again.”

Another opportunity, says Claire, is for churches to think about how to use technology to spread the gospel message in new and creative ways.

“The gospel has always been communicated in story, so now the opportunity for the church is to think about how to tell that same story but through new mediums,” she says.

Finally, says Claire, Christian parents need to remember the influence they have on their children. McCrindle has found mothers are the most influential people on a young person’s journey to faith, followed by their father, a statistic that should motivate parents to continue to live out lives of authentic faith before their children.

“Parents should realise that the way they live out their faith is having a very noticeable impact on their children and that they’re being shaped by that.”

Mustard Roundtables on the world of teenagers:
Wed 13 August – Caroline Springs Anglican
Wed 20 August – St Alfred’s Anglican Church, Blackburn

For more information visit the Mustard website.

Related links:
Think before you hand your kids a smartphone: Challies
Conversations you need to have with your son

Image: Denis Dervisevic via Flickr