Churches can be unfriendly places for men.

“I have been a churchgoer for many years. I have always wondered why there were more women than men at every event I went to” says David Murrow, an ordinary pew sitter. He has tried to work out why Christian churches in general draw less men than women and has written a book “Why Men hate Going to Church”. Murrow spoke at several gatherings of the City Bible Forum last week, which aims to reach CBD audiences.

Murrow’s work resembles Hanna Rosin’s controversial book “The End of Men”, which argues that many men, especially blue collar men, are excluded from the new jobs produced by an increasingly knowledge-based economy. She argues that the education system favours the skills most often displayed in girls rather than boys.

In a similar way, Murrow argues that men, especially blue collar men, are “excluded” by churches for similar reasons as men excluded from the knowledge economy. The skills you need to be a good church-goer are those more commonly seen in women rather than men.

Citing American figures, Murrow says the church is:

• 61 per cent female
• 25 per cent of church going women attend without their husbands
• 75 per cent  of church volunteers a re women.
• “Women out-witness, out-give, out-Bible-study men.”
• 2 per cent of church goers are young single men 18-30.

In Australia the National Christian Church Life survey reports that 6 out of ten churchgoers are women.

Murrow says that Hinduism, Islam, and Buddhism do not have the gender gap problem that Christianity has.

“Men love God but have nothing to do with church,” he says. “Number 1: men think church is for women, weirdos and wimps.”

Murrow also says younger, blue collar men think they don’t need church to be a good person, or that it’s hard to “win at church”.

“If a man can’t win at a game he stops playing.”

A key reason for churches attracting more women than men is that Church meetings and Bible study groups require a set of skill that play to women’s strengths, says Murrow. He highlights several aspects of church that he says demonstrate this:

• Bible study groups emphasise reading skills. Men are diagnosed with reading disorders at four times the rate of women.
• Bible study groups often have a question and answer or discussion format. Women score greater at verbal skills.
• Finger dexterity is lower for men. They find Bibles hard to use.
• Socialising and small talk are important skills for going to a church service. Women tend to be better at this, so find the church environment less threatening.
• Hugging is featured in some churches. Many men are uncomfortable with male-to-male hugging.
• Singing: Christians sing more than any other religion. This will appeal less to men in general. The intimate language of a “love song to Jesus” style of music is a barrier to men in particular.
• Showing emotion, especially in “spirit filled” church. “’Big boys don’t cry’ is lousy theology but it is what boys are taught,” says Murrow.
• Holding hands (big in US churches). This is used especially in prayer time.
• Sitting still in church. Men are worse at sitting still
• Attention span. Men pay close attention for short periods of time. Average sermon is 31 minutes in the US. Men fade out at 20 minutes, according to Murrow.

“Church is a good environment for verbal, studious emotionally sensitive people,” Murrow says. In addition, volunteer opportunities are traditionally feminine roles, like looking after children.

Men tend to make excuses about not going to church. “There are too many hypocrites” is the king of excuse often heard. But underneath there is the real feeling: “I feel unwanted and unneeded in church”.

Perhaps the most controversial aspect of Murrow’s criticisms of churches is that the sermon—if it is a monologue—is much too long for men.

“Men have a shorter attention span than women”. Murrow tells Eternity. “It has been shown that women have a multi-tasking ability—they can focus on the sermon, they can focus on their kids, the food that they are going to prepare that night. Men are much more likely to have a one-task brain—tunnel vision. So once you have lost men from the sermon they have really wandered off somewhere else.

“Eight minutes is where you lose them unless you do something unusual, like splash them with water [which David did to the front row during a City bible Forum meeting]. You have to mix it up.”

Murrow says that a few very successful preachers understand that. “Some get it. But I think a lot of preachers get into the business because they want to talk. They are highly verbal men. They like to do a lot of talking. And so they are convinced that all they have to do is get up and preach the word of God. And God will take care of the rest.

“Well, God’s not going to take care of the rest. You have to be a good quality preacher.”

The US based preacher Mark Driscoll holds his audience for 60 minute sermons says Murrow. “And he’s got a church full of men.”

“I think a lot of those men are egghead-type men who can endure an hour sermon. He is a very engaging preacher.”

“Generally shorter is better when it comes to men.”

Murrow’s criticism of churches are simply practical; he draws attention to what he sees as barriers to men going to church, rather than endorsing a precise set of rules about how the genders behave. His approach is simply to observe what turns off men. For example, in saying that fabric banners don’t tend to appeal to men (as he does), he is not objecting to banners in principle.

For Murrow, men are more attuned to action, women to relationship. He notes an interesting shift in how we invite people to become Christians. Today we are likely to say “God wants you to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ”. But the Bible has Jesus saying “Come follow me”.

Murrow was asked at a City Bible Forum meeting “Is the real Jesus more like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Mother Theresa?”

“I think he would more be like Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Jesus of Matthew is like a wrecking ball. He denounces the Pharisees as a brood a vipers. He overturns tables and throws merchants out of the temple. We would throw him out of church. He loves men the way men love each other.”

“When Jesus left the earth his last words were, ‘I’ll be back’.”

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